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2pm Thu 24 May 2012 - /r/todayilearned

  1. TIL that, because of the live-action Cat In the Hat, Dr. Seuss's estate has demanded that there can no longer be any live-action Dr. Seuss movies.) en.wikipedia.org comments todayilearned
  2. TIL that in the original Sleeping Beauty story, “Prince Charming” rapes Sleeping Beauty and impregnates her, and it is the subsequent children that wake her by sucking on her finger. en.wikipedia.org comments todayilearned
  3. TIL in WWII, J.F.K. saved a man - after their boat was sunk - by swimming three miles to a nearby island, all while towing the man by his life-preserver's strap...with his teeth. history.navy.mil comments todayilearned
  4. TIL that the link between physical pain and social pain is strong enough that Tylenol can help to relieve social pain such as rejection more than a placebo. psychcentral.com comments todayilearned
  5. TIL that when mice are put in an enclosure with limitless resources, they overpopulate and social behaviours degenerate into non-sexual, narcissists and pan-sexual cannibals. cabinetmagazine.org comments todayilearned
  6. TIL the images rendered by night vision goggles are green because the human eye can distinguish more shades of green than any other color. physicscentral.com comments todayilearned
  7. TIL Jim Cummings, the voice of Winnie the Pooh, calls sick children in hospitals and talks to them in Character. "...Her mother was in tears, just crying. She said that was the first time her daughter had smiled in six months." tlc.howstuffworks.com comments todayilearned
  8. TIL that a female serial killer in ancient rome was punished for her crimes by being raped by a giraffe books.google.com comments todayilearned
  9. TIL Steve Jobs shut down all philanthropic efforts at Apple when he returned to the company in 1997. benzinga.com comments todayilearned
  10. TIL Zebras are actually black with white stripes. They are black as early embryos, then develop the white stripes. newscientist.com comments todayilearned
  11. TIL that the Titanic will be completely gone within 20 years dailymail.co.uk comments todayilearned
  12. TIL that in 1982 the CIA worked with Canadians to give Soviet spies intentionally flawed software for a natural gas pipeline. "The result was the most monumental non-nuclear explosion and fire ever seen from space." en.wikipedia.org comments todayilearned
  13. TIL there's a petition for David Tennant to carry the Olympic Torch at the 2012 Olympics. petitiononline.com comments todayilearned
  14. TIL the world's first sex store was started in Germany by a female ex-luftwaffe pilot because of the lack of men around post-war! en.wikipedia.org comments todayilearned
  15. TIL Pornstar Echo Valley aka Tits Hemingway from Harold and Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay died in a car accident as a result of not wearing her seatbelt due to her large breasts ) en.wikipedia.org comments todayilearned
  16. TIL that "Donner and Blitzen" (names of santa's reindeer) is German for "thunder and lightning". en.wikipedia.org comments todayilearned
  17. TIL an Olympic rower stopped stopped mid race to let a family of ducks pass. And still won.) en.wikipedia.org comments todayilearned
  18. TIL the Soviets created a poison called c-2 that physically shrunk human subjects and killed them within 15 minutes. en.wikipedia.org comments todayilearned
  19. TIL Stimulating the brain's left tempo-parietal junction causes people to perceive copies of themselves in the room nature.com comments todayilearned
  20. TIL that from a distance of about 33 light-years, the quasar 3C_273 would shine in the sky about as brightly as our sun. blackholes.stardate.org comments todayilearned
  21. TIL that the same baby turtles in 1976's Rocky - Cuff and Link - appear fully grown in its sequel 30 years later, Rocky Balboa. imdb.com comments todayilearned
  22. TIL Wes Craven choose to make Freddy Krueger's sweater colors that of red and green, after reading an article in Scientific American in 1982 that said the two most clashing colors to the human retina were this particular combination.#Development) en.wikipedia.org comments todayilearned
  23. TIL that the richest country in the world, Norway, is 496 times richer than the world's poorest country, Burundi. The average per capita income in Norway is $84,290; in Burundi, it's $170. nybooks.com comments todayilearned
  24. TIL that Jupiter's moon Europa has more water than Earth. Its subsurface ocean plus ice layer could range from 80 to 170 kilometers in average depth. apod.nasa.gov comments todayilearned
  25. TIL In the ninth century, Pope Nicholas I decreed that a figure of a rooster should be placed atop every church which is why so many weather vanes have roosters. smithsonianmag.com comments todayilearned
  26. TIL William Godwin, the father of anarchist philosophy, was a pacifist. He believed in the power of rational discussion as a means of challenging the institutions of church and state. en.wikipedia.org comments todayilearned
  27. TIL Hermann Goering's great niece, Bettina has had herself sterilised so that she "would not pass on the blood of a monster" dailymail.co.uk comments todayilearned
  28. TIL: craigslist has a 'best of' section... "Yoga mat for sale. Used once." craigslist.org comments todayilearned
  29. TIL that right after 9/11, a German destroyer saluted an American destroyer with a "manning the rails ceremony" and the display of a banner "We Stand By You". snopes.com comments todayilearned
  30. TIL Sherlock Holmes regularly injected cocaine because he believed it stimulated his brain. en.wikipedia.org comments todayilearned
  31. TIL that taxonomically, modern-day birds aren't just descended from dinosaurs, but are considered to BE dinosaurs. en.wikipedia.org comments todayilearned
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Raven Reviews: The Muv-Luv Series Part 2: Extra, Like Aliens Describing Earth Schools.

The story picks up with p-kun and Sumika walking to school. Sumika is not happy and p-kun hits her for it. Two sentences into my review of the actual story and I already have to talk about abuse.
Sumika totally calls him out for it by saying he just hits her whenever he feels like it so the cathartic feeling of vindication raises my sour mood a bit. I mean he hits her in response but the fact the novel is calling him out for it is progress at least. Then Sumika calls him out AGAIN but this time for never listening to people and while I have no evidence yet to support that statement I look forward to proving that point too. Anyway he hits her to get his housekey back that she apparently got from p-kun's mom. When she complains that he let Samurai girl in he stops for a second to question how exactly the mystery girl managed to break into his place unnoticed. But then it's established p-kun apparently thinks out loud which is only going to cause confusion down the line, however for now that's a detail I can overlook. This time Sumika blocks his attack with her school bag before he sucker punches her.
After having his fill of casual assault for the moment p-kun notices a small Santa rabbit keychain Sumika carries around and comments on its bedraggled state. Sumika implies he bought it for her and asks if he'll get her a new one but he doesn't remember buying it so he refuses. Then she punches him to distract him before fleeing to class. I know I should be upset and talk about how violence doesn't solve violence but I'm just so happy these two are separated for the moment I can't muster the energy. p-kun climbs the hill to school and
DAMN IT she's waiting for him. God just when I thought I could relax.
The two run into class just in time to be admonished by the class representative who I guess is one of the heroines I have to care about. She gets points immediately for not taking one ounce of p-kun's disrespect. Because Lacrosse is apparently her assigned character trait p-kun mentions her practice. They have some small talk before the least bell sounding bell sound effect alerts the reader the class Neko is about to make an entrance running down the hall at a speed so fast she can only be seen in chibi. She plows straight into p-kun and collapses into a panty shot.
Fun fact, Tama is the most common cat name in Japan. Take it as you will that p-kun calls her that.
Jinguuji, the teacher, arrives for class. She's apparently some kind of fan favorite in the community around this series but I'm going to save my personal opinion on her for now. In a CG that is going to get WAY too much use she stands in front of the class and takes attendance. Apparently Yoroi is the name of our comedic relief friend character and he's absent today because god hates me and wants me to suffer through more time watching p-kun and Sumika instead. Apparently he gets around, like Africa and the North Pole around. Kei is also absent but that's not important.
It's time to talk about Gouda Jouji.
LITERALLY MORE CONFUSING THEN THE ZELDA TIMELINE WITH ALL THE CAMEOS OF THE MCU
In 1999 Age, the developer of the Muv-Luv series, published their first novel titled Kimi ga Ita Kisetu which is not in itself important to this review series... yet. But apparently they really liked this novel because every single story after it as far as I was able to tell takes place in the same universe and usually the same city. One might reasonably ask then why the Muv-Luv series, which starts with the NINETH novel in their catalogue and effectively functions as a sequel to the entire roster before that point seems to have taken off without this truckload of context but their is a simple answer to that.
The preceding novels are a mess.
KgIK has 47 endings and a choice in the first scene of the novel that literally changed the relationship between characters and what season the novel took place in. I haven't read it... yet, but it's clear that even from the start Age had no idea what the word restraint meant and probably paid someone to assassinate anyone in a twelve kilometer radius of their headquarters who did. I'm going to have to come back to this novel one day about halfway through Alternative but for now the only important thing you need to know is it exists and it's insane.
Over the course of the following year they released 3 more novels which umm... well you can google the box art. Anyway still not important to Extra I'll get back to them.
Less then eleven months after KgiK Age Maniax: Isumi Yon Shimai is released with basically the same roster of characters but now including a cast of literally every novel they've released until this point and I have SO much to say about this convoluted mess of an extended universe already but their just isn't time we're finally at the point that's relevant to us now so I'll come back to it in Alternative I promise!
One year and twelve days later Kimi ga Nozomu Eien comes out which is set in the same city and at the same school Muv-Luv takes place in with an entirely new cast of characters including one that appears in Extra, namely Suzumiya Akane, who somehow DOESN'T have a picture on her VNDB profile from this game nor any mention of it outside of a single line stating she's a side character despite being the little sister of one of the only TWO heroines in that story. But I'm getting off track and I really can't afford that.
Anyway Akane was the heroine in a spin off novel from KgNE called Akane Maniax: Nagareboshi Densetsu Gouda and THAT is the one we need to focus on because it directly proceeds Muv-Luv, features basically the entire cast of this novel, and will one day be part of a really cool theory in Alternative but the protagonist Gouda Jouji is literally only mentioned once in Alternative and that's really far off from now so I'll have missed my opportunity by then therefore SURPRISE REVIEW OF THAT GAME
RAVEN REVIEWS: THE MUV-LUV SERIES PART 2.5: AKANE MANIAX, I CAN'T READ JAPANESE
All my information about AMNDG comes second hand so sue me if I'm wrong but this novel looks insane. The screenshots on VNDB alone are a trip and the description on the wiki fascinates me to no end but here's the skinny on the story.
Jouji is a transfer student who arrives at Hakuryo High several weeks after the end of KgNE and is so smitten by Akane he proposes to her on the spot. What follows is two to nine hours of comedy antics in the same tone as Extra.
Now this is hard to simplify but basically at the end of KgNE Akane's older sister wakes up from a coma and the story is left vague about if she chooses to remain with her boyfriend, the protagonist of KgNE, from before the accident or not. The Anime will change this later but Akane states in AMNDG that he for sure is now the ex-boyfriend and because Akane can't decide if the feelings she has for Jouji are real or just rebound feelings from her sister's ex who she apparently also liked she's going to turn him down. Heartbroken and dejected Jouji speaks with the school's gym teacher who is actually an alien with a mutant in his yellow afro and becomes a space knight fighting aliens for Earth don't stop me here I'll lose my train of thought!
Here are the important points as far as Extra is concerned. Akane is a girl in class 3-D with an older sister who just came out of a three year coma a few weeks ago. She totally rejected a guy named Jouji who sat next to p-kun in class 3-B and knew all his friends. Jouji is now a space knight named Tekkumen on a robot mount that transformed from a humanoid robot classmate of his and is apparently a homage to Tekkaman Blade. He's going to pop up later.
I wish I could say that was all you need to know but unfortunately that's only the minimum to get through the rest of Extra, we'll be coming back to this novel too eventually but for now let's finally delve back into the plot of THIS novel.
ENTER THE ETERNAL SECOND PLACE
Apparently poor Gouda is already being replaced as a new student joins the class. p-kun questions who transfers during the second term of senior year but is quickly silenced by the fact his new next door desk mate will be the same person he woke up beside this morning. Now this is completely irrelevant, but she's actually pretty tall isn't she? Like, she's easily only a few centimeters shorter then Jinguuji, ten at the absolute most. Maybe it's the hair.
Not one for formalities she asks the class to refer to her by her first name, not even with an honorific, I'd admit this kind of goes against the Samurai persona I'd pegged her for but then again she has a damn sword she brought into a school two years after Columbine so that's pretty bushido. Then in the first genuinely hilarious scene in the novel Meiya looks straight at p-kun and thanks him for sharing his warmth with her last night which prompts the class to commence an uproar. During break p-kun is swarmed by the female cast eager to interrogate him as the whole class whispers in the background. Theirs this strange plastering of the word "murmur" on the screen which I'm VERY glad only appears in this novel because it's super distracting. Meiya comes to save him though.
What follows is another really good scene where Meiya's sprite inches closer and closer while proclaiming her desire for p-kun to confide in her like she's cosplaying Lydia or something. Miki distracts her with an introduction and Meiya questions if she's human. I'm going to go with no given the cat ears and the confirmed existence of robots and aliens but hey, who knows. Miki's cool with whatever therefore so am I. Then p-kun opens his big stupid mouth and depresses Meiya by not using her first name so she invades his personal space and he caves.
p-kun refers to himself in third person which makes Raven uneasy and contemplates the chaotic lunch period to come. For some reason Sumika offers him a lunch which he totally does NOT deserve but this is a really sweet gesture considering, and it's all cutsie and animal themed and looks like she put a LOT of effort into it and he totally rejects it! Look bro, I'm really trying here, I even forgot to mention you hit Sumika again earlier on purpose, throw me a bone and thank the dang girl for the lunch. That's all I'm asking, just say thank you. Meiya stops him and calls in a literal squad of chefs to be airdropped from helicopter.
You know I'm beginning to think this series isn't going to be entirely realistic.
Side note: Miki refers to herself in third person, but ya know, in that cutsie anime way not like p-kun did earlier, but for some reason the translation didn't follow that. I've got no idea why, this is a pure localization vs. translation thing that errored on the localization side when it really shouldn't have. I mean you can clearly hear her saying her own name. Am I the only one who is put off by this? They didn't translate Nyaa into Meow so what the hell guys? Well if the VN is going to do her dirty like that I'm just going to have to refer to her by her nickname to compensate. I got your back Tama.
Meiya offers p-kun literally any Eastern or Western dish to be made by some master chefs which I've got to admit is tempting as all hell. I mean I'm a real foodie so I can think of several options I'd love to ask for. Truffle pizza, veal burgers with organic dressings and hand made buns, Caviar and cheese, Fugu Sashimi, Shark fin soup... and to p-kun's credit he does think big with something called an "Imperial Feast" as his choice. Sounds good enough to me I guess, the reader has the option to refuse but forget that this is once in a lifetime I'm not passing this up! Apparently his order is really hard or something made for some Empress or whatever blah blah Japanese history p-kun's got good taste in food alright? There I gave him a compliment don't say I never took his good points into consideration. Score is still 1 to 47. p-kun goads Meiya and her chefs with the jeers of the disbelieving students around them which is kinda scummy but probably meant to be taken as playful so I'll let this one slide too.
Then Sumika throws a dictionary at him. Listen lady I've been advocating for you this whole review don't fall into p-kun's bad habits and make me change my mind. Chizuru also pelted him which is just excessive. Tama threw hers just to be included so she gets a pass. I have a weakness for cute things, sue me. Apparently they knocked him unconcise which if you're not aware is REALLY bad for your health and clear out the chefs before leaving him on the floor to sleep off the drain bamage.
On the way home from school Sumika questions p-kun on why Meiya is following them. Then Meiya calls p-kun strange for being wordy and I feel personally attacked. For the first time I notice Meiya has a really imposing presence. Like, actually for the first time not in the context of this review. Her sprites are really standoffish and almost reserved in a way that her actions don't... well I was going to say don't match but that's not it. Like if I had never read this novel before and all I had to go on was the sprites to guess the character personalities I'd peg Meiya as confident but reserved. Like really look at this picture of her from the novel, she's kind of imposing. I don't know maybe I'm just reading too much into things because I'm reviewing it rather then casually enjoying it. I'll let the thought stew and see how I feel when the plot is over.
Meiya stops at the neighborhood park, she recites a poem but I don't recognize it so 0 points, googled it and found nothing and if google doesn't know it then it doesn't exist. You come from an island with some of the best poetry in the world and just made up some vaguely rhythmic stuff, go home and try again when you get some appreciation for real art. He says right before she ditches p-kun and Sumika so I can immediately regret my words.
The scene transitions to p-kun getting home to see Meiya in her casual cloths... wow I don't like her outfit. How many side tangents have I had so far today? Just the one? I've got space here... no, no not yet. Still a little early to talk about the art I mean that's a BIG topic in VNs it'll definitely take the rest of this part if I start on that. I'll do a compromise though, let's talk about the music.
FORGETABLY GREAT
So to no ones surprise you can find the whole soundtrack on YouTube as a video or in parts but here's my personal choice of the best quality. No idea why the publisher ripped the scene from the novel to include the OP when their is literally a better OOC version I linked to in part 1 but whatever.
So the music here is bad. Well not exactly I mean I like some of it. I think it's good music but it's a bad soundtrack. Those things aren't the same thing. IMHHW has an AMAZING soundtrack but I wouldn't like, play it on my phone somewhere you know? Muv-Luv is the opposite, their are some really good songs here, not a lot but some, but this is a terrible VN soundtrack. I'm not going to link to every single one here because that would take forever but I posted a link you can follow it if you want to hear what I mean. The "generic" music is mostly garbage, like tracks 2-5 stick out in my mind as the sound of over half this novel but those are some of the worst music of the lot. I mentioned in part 1 how track 2 School Days is the best of the bunch but that's mostly because it's so generic I didn't get sick of it when it started for the hundredth time. It also helps that of all the music they had to choose from THAT is the one they kept for the whole series so I associate it with some good memories. But seriously if I hear that dying trumpet from EwaBS again I'll scream. Track 6 Ambush is good in a weird way. Like I get a real 60's Star Trek opening vibe from it like this romance novel suddenly went all Sci-Fi on me it's great! The opera singer in the background just letting her voice pull you along with the softer instruments and electric rhythm, really good.
Conspiracy is great too, like a strange intro to a Price is Right style show I would have watched when home sick during middle school. It's just the right amount of almost 90's surfer music. 8-11 are all garbage again though! Like they all blend together in my mind as really generic. But then we get to Theory for Farewell and that vibe comes back. This has a little more pop, little club dance mixed in like What is Love's soft younger sister or something with a peppy xylophone. REALLY good sound. And then it goes to shit again and it just never recovers. Like all that techno almost retro futuristic space sound is gone and gets replaced by the two most overused instruments, the piano and violin. Like it's just track after track of duds. You get to the end of the list and track 27 has lyrics so that at least spices it up but that only makes it passible, not great or anything. But then, right when I think I might have just accidentally picked up on something that wasn't there, the final track on the list is an epic space balled. It's double the length of most of the rest of the tracks, starts off soft and gentle with that club dance techno sound but builds and builds with this gorgeous female vocal that fits somewhere between alto and soprano as she owns the moment before finally letting it swell half way through and gradually petering off. Just gorgeous.
So what the hell? Why does most of this album suck but have these hidden bangers spirited away? Am I the only one that wishes the novel had more of this type of music over that generic background trash? I mean to be fair the tone is kind of off for what they're going for, but screw it why can't I have a space opera soundtrack to my comedy school life novel? I was in the right age demographic when 7 of 9 was on Voyager I know you can have comedy around cute girls in space!
Soundtrack is so not worth a buy but I'd rip the six good songs for my next spell jammer game and never look back without a thought.
DON'T GO IN MY ROOM JUST BECAUSE YOU LIVE HERE MEIYA I KEEP MY VN SHELF IN PLAIN VIEW
So surprise Meiya was walking home with p-kun because she lives at his house now and all I can think about is where she's going to sleep.
I mean do you put her in your parents bed? No that won't work this is Japan I need to ask permission to touch my dad's stuff. So do you give her your room? No, HELL no, I know what's in there and she doesn't want to see it, I don't know what I'd do if someone found out I don't make my bed in the morning. So I guess theirs the couch but this is still Japan the couch is just the floor with a throw pillow set somewhere. So where the hell do you put a guest up for the night in Japan? I saw p-kun's house from outside it is NOT big enough for a full guest room.
Sumika bursts in and Meiya offers her tea which seems like it should be p-kun's obligation to do but whatever. Sumika launches into a rant that literally fills half the screen with text, which is a semi-common joke in VNs I have a soft spot for, about how her mother had been introduced to Meiya who apparently lives in p-kun's house now which immediately throws all my anxiety out the window because she can find her own damn bed if she lives here I'm sleeping in my room.
p-kun seems less relaxed, he tries to kick out Sumika but they just argue into the night before Sumika hits him. Some lady comments on the fact he's loosing consciousness and then after a transition to the next day theirs a flashback scene of Sumika and p-kun playing in the park.
p-kun is voiced here for some reason, which I guess isn't unheard of, I mean F/SN had a voiced protagonist and that novel is apparently the bees knees but I have no idea why they decided to make the protagonist partial voice and literally every other character in the game full voice.
p-kun wakes up foundling Meiya's breast, which I hope is not a trend I have to look forward to because if we just keep rotating out characters to fondle each day this is going to get weird. Some lady in a maid outfit made breakfast sushi which sounds dope, I love sushi. p-kun is more interested in why Meiya was in his bed, which I guess is fair but why wait till breakfast to ask? Apparently the maid lady is named Tsukuyomi which is one HELL of a mouthful which is why I'm glad I don't have to try and pronounce it. Halfway through banning Meiya from sleeping in his bed Sumika starts breaking down the door again. She gets in just in time for Meiya to present p-kun with an "Illicit Sexual Relations Permit" which I had to admit I found hysterical. The damn thing is signed by the prime minister of Japan for god sakes. That's just peek comedy. I don't know how anyone can be "morally" obligated to have sex but whatever that's just funny.
Apparently to get his dad's signature they upgraded his vacation to a round the world trip for as long as Meiya stayed in their house and I don't know about you but if some lady came to me, told me she was fabulously wealthy, (Yeah yeah that's a spoiler but you'll get over it.) wanted to send me and my wife on the trip of a lifetime for at least a few months on someone else's dime, the Prime Minister was on board, and all I had to do was prostitute my son... well I'm legally obligated to say that's morally apprehensible due to age of consent laws but assuming everyone's of age I'm giving my boy a pep talk five minutes long and packing my bags for the Caribbean.
Meiya makes a point of saying that p-kun was a bit forceful this morning with his fondling but far more importantly she calls p-kun out for his behavior toward Sumika which I am all for. I do admit though I got a chuckle out of the fact Sumika apparently punched him so hard he flew out of the house mid sentence from Meiya who didn't even noticed it had happened. That's pretty funny.
The scene transitions and my second favorite minor character of the series makes his debut. Ichimonji Takahashi, a tribute to Takahashi Ryousuke from some anime I didn't watch but am sure has something to do with street racing given this beautiful specimen of a man. He gets one of the only good tracts of music as his theme, drives a sixty meter limousine the length of p-kun's whole yard like speed racer, dresses in the cutest suit, and has a voice like an Asian Chris Prat. 10/10, would love to take him for a ride.
He's Meiya's chauffer and criminally only in this instalment of the series so I'm going to enjoy the short time I have with him while I can. Meiya informs him she plans to walk to school and he's off, but not before pulling off a daring hairpin turn at high speed just in case he wasn't already attractive enough for the rest of you.
Sumika insists on gripping p-kun's arm against his protests and Meiya teases him about it. When p-kun accuses Sumika of being jealous, she pushes him away, steps into the street and GETS HIT BY A FUCKING CAR!
Look play that for laughs all you want I'm like legitimately wondering if she's okay here she went FLYING! The car lets out a couple of loud engine noises before the driver emerges-
Nope. No, not yet. I'm not ready. I thought I was, I thought I was over it, I'm not. One look at her face and I knew, I needed more time. I can't talk about, HER, yet. Part 2 ends here.
LOOKING FOR A FASTER PACE
Lucky for me this review is finally at a point where the narrative is really going to start to branch so I'll be able to pick up the pace in part 3 and cover some more ground. Not by too much but hey it's better then going line by line like I have been. I've still got a lot of ground to cover but now I can get some good progress in. By pure coincidence today is smack dab in the center of Extra's timeframe so I'm going to make an exception and publish part three on November 9th instead of in two weeks. I'll decide before then when part 4 will come out but for now I have to put together an introduction to... god how do I even describe her... THAT woman.
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