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Being a girl on World of Warcraft

As a female who's been on the game for 15 years now, I've met a load of creeps but only a few only made me feel unsafe. To start off I've always had a lap top since I was in high school, a luxury back then I worked hard to earn enough to buy one. My mom almost took my money I earned for drugs but luckily money I made in tips were in cash so it was easier to hide it from her. At first my mom was mad I bought myself a laptop but she soon forgot like everything. My dad could care less, and my older brother already had his own. So I started playing WoW with him at 14 and back then girls were unheard of. So I got the usual creeps who usually backed off after hearing my age or they were young to. But not this guy, this guy loved that I was underage.
I was about 16 and used to creepy guys at this point, no longer a noob at the game or fending off the creeps it was no surprise a new guy in the guild started hitting on me. Now I was 16, dumb young, horny and stupid but I knew I wasn't going to find love on WoW where you knew no one in real life. Plus I had the ultimate crush on a guy I couldn't have because he was my brothers best friend, but in my mind back then I only wanted him. So it was easy to turn guys down despite being desperate as hell for one guy lol.
But that all changed after my brothers friend went off to college, I had a part time job with my brothers friend but girls at work surrounded him and I became demoralized I'd never find love. Que "19" year old guy on WoW who made me feel wanted. I had a camera phone so I could send and post pictures at that age and back then I mostly used facebook, myspace and photobucket. I lost a lot of weight my sophomore year, so I posted confidently bikini pics and sexy pictures thinking I'd lure the attention of my brothers friend whom was 19.
So when this guy who was also 19 liked me, it didn't phase me. He looked the part in his photos and his younger brother was my age... So I thought... He was extreamly attractive in his photos and even proved it was him in his pictures by holding items I asked for. He started paying my wow subscription which in the long run I realized it was to get my home address and real name. I was so stupid and heart broken over my brothers friend, years of teaching myself online safety and the ability to be strong against flirts was all but lost in the fog.
We'd talk for hours on ventrillo, and he'd make me feel pretty. I was completely blinded by this point, he sent me gifts and I didn't even question how he had my address. Then he offered to drive and pick me up, as only then did I suddenly get cold feet.
I had a good friend on WoW, someone my brother met at PAX and joined the guild and is still one of my best friends to this day (tho we both aren't fond of my older brother). Hes 6 years older than me but never creeped on me, was more like the protective brother I lacked. (Well least till I was 24 and single for the first time did we hook up lol but that's because we were friends for so long, but the distance led to it not turning into a relationship) He caught onto it through conversation and was my words of wisdom in a time I was lacking any of my own. He saw something was fishy when I couldn't.
I told my friend I was scared to meet him because .... Dumb teenager logic, I thought he would not like me. My friend chimed in that I shouldn't meet anyone off the internet at my age. I told him about the gifts and I swear I've never been scolded like this in my life, not even by my own parents, but he always cared like that. He wondered why I would give my address to someone I never met, and the expensive gifts I got were not something the average 19 year old could afford. None of this ever clicked for me of course because I was lonely and trying to prove idk to myself, my crush or something I could get a boyfriend.
Like that I told the guy it wasn't wise to meet in person and my "parents" said I wasn't allowed to. That's when it went dark. At first it was pestering over and over, guilting me over gifts he gave me and encouraging me to defy my parents. While he kept bothering me, it never once occured to me he'd lose his shit. While my friend was worried shitless about the guy having my address, going as far to drive the 11 hours to my house and explain the situation to my dad as I refused to tell him out of fear of getting in trouble at the time, all while taking his spring break in my state instead of his own with his friends. There's a reason he's still one of my best friends. He has a little sister of his own as well and she's my age so his protective nature is natural.
Eventually he made me block the guy and that was that, this guy was pissed off. He'd go on different accounts to accuse me of gold digging and using him. Luckily my friend was smart enough and had the foresight to change my wow password and even paid for my account for me taking this guy off it entirely as one of this guy's threats was to delete my account. But it didn't end there, it got worse as he'd consistently find ways to message me and tell me how horrible I was. Till about a month had passed.
I was walking home from school, about 2 mile walk in wealthy suburbs of New England, which I had done for years, many kids did as it was a very safe town with no crime in it or surrounding towns. Without a second thought I took off with my 100lb back back (maybe and over estimate lol) put my head phones in and started my 20 minute walk home. It was cold so I had earmuffs over my headphones only downing out sound more too. I swear if I could talk to myself as a kid I probably just slap myself for stupidity. Because wow guy, knew I walked home everyday as I talked about it. He knew my address and I never thought twice.
I was on the back roads walking home and honestly easy to map from my school to home as it was pretty straightforward with only one turn. At half way home it between songs I heard a vague crunching sound of tires rolling over gravel on the road slowly. I turned around to see a tinted black car that you couldn't see much of the person in front. I jogged out of the driveway I was standing in front of assuming it was waiting to turn in. But I didn't turn in, the roads were dead and it didn't make sense for him not to go around.
I swear the saying that you go cold when you're terrified is absolutely true. It could of been a summers day at 95 degrees and my bones would of been cold. My heart just sank and my breathing was uncontrollable. I felt like I had no control over my body as I realized this guy was following me, my blood truely ran cold and my hands shook as tears formed and my skin felt tight. My body felt like it wasn't ready to fight or flight but simply freeze there and die. It only got worse as the second time I turned my head to see the car stop, I stopped, my world stopped.
I couldn't stop staring, just froze and breathing like all my school books were on my chest. Crying silently, my eyes hurt with no tears or sound as I just stood there. The door opened after what felt like hours but only seconds maybe a minute. And it was infact him, it was the attractive guy from the photos, not a catfish but something seemed different. At first I thought it was his angry expression but soon realized, he was definitely not 19, more like 30+. I could barely think over the loud sound of my heart racing as it froze me in place.
I thought I was about to throw up as he spoke to me. Told me to get in the car or he'd light my house on fire and kill my dog in front of me. I honestly just couldn't move, couldn't reach for my phone as his words just froze me. And like some magic we both failed to notice the little old lady on her porch watching this play out. Suddenly I hear her yell "get away from that girl right now before I burn you alive".
We both turned to meet her eyes, pissed off small lady about 60 or 70 with white hair. I think she noticed my frozen in fear state as she told me to get over to her quickly. Like that I ran over to her tossing off my heavy brick of a back pack. It was obvious he was unsure what to do next as he stood there and watched me run to her. Must of been a sight this tiny thin old lady standing in front of a teenage girl yelling at this man to go away. Like that savior number 2 joined the battle as her husband stepped out, guy who looked like be been through a war or two, with a shot gun of all things and booming voice. Gun pointed saying "I've shot and killed men for less reason, you better leave now"
He got into his car and drove off as I simply collapsed, all that fear just came out as I cried harder and harder as my brain sifted through the past few months of mistakes. After calming me down enough to speak in non hyperventilating words, she asked me if I knew him. I told her kind of, but only online from a videogame, not real life. Of course explaining it wasn't easy, and her husband couldn't grasp why I'd wanna printed I was at war (I'm sure in his experience he was thinking call of duty not magical creatures in a game called World of 'War'craft). She got on the phone with the school counselor, her daughter apparently and told her my name. I was well known to her daughter ironically, but it was only 250 or less kids in the school and the town itself was small. Many staff at our school had family in town, kids at school they were related to either by their own children or their siblings children. It was the kind of town if you didn't leave by a certain age your were stuck there.
So honestly it seems ironic but entirely not a huge surprise. The counselor was well aware of my family and my mom's drug addiction as child services had been involved few times. She came by in 10 minutes to pick me up and asked me a ton of questions of course knowing I didn't want to involve police as I was scared of being taken away from my parents again. (FYI foster care was worse than a drugged out mom on prescriptions). We weren't rich but we were more well off than many. Though my mom worked my dad kept my mom on a tight budget to keep her from buy prescriptions from Canada she wasn't prescribed (hence her trying to take my money). She knew all of this and knew though rough I was better off than foster care which was a gamble with losing odds at best. Plus 2 more years and I'd be off to college anyway. So we didn't involve the cops, but she made me promise to take the bus every day and to inform my dad of the situation. She also called my dad at work to inform him and had a teacher make sure I got on the bus everyday till I graduated even.. really sucked but I understood.
If it ended there it would be nice but there's still a bit more and I'm sorry for the length and grammar, it's late at night and I recalling from memory and typing on my phone.
Two days after this, my dad had to fly out for business, my brother was off at college so it left me and my high mom "who promised my dad she stay sober while he was gone but I was used to helping her while she was high, was like taking care of a child". But I was on edge as ever creek in that big house from the 60s, cat stir at night, and dog barking outside set me on edge I barely slept. My friend from WoW called every night making sure I was ok for the past month. I lived in the middle of the woods, next to a huge river in my backyard so there was still a lot of wildlife outside in the dead silence of cold months. Running water is a important source of water when lakes freeze. I had been used to all the bumps in the night, cats coming and going and dog barking at ever animal in the yard, but it all seemed new to me as I layed in bed trying to drown out my fears. The house I grew up in was a 6 bedroom house, I had a little sister too but she stayed with my grandma in another state per court order while I was allowed to choose due to her only being 9 and me 16. The other rooms were used as game room, office for my dad and guest room mostly for when my sister visited my grandma and her had a room.
So in a large house like that in the middle of the woods, it was scary to virtually be alone because my mom accounted for defenseless. I was letting my last cat inside for the night (5 cats who all knew to come in at night for dinner and stayed in till morning). And at the end of the long driveway between my neighbor and our house was parked a black car. I quickly shut the door and locked it after my cat got inside. I made sure all 5 doors were locked and even put card board on the glass doors to the pool idk hoping if he broke them it would delay him if that car was his.
I went and turned off all the lights, and got all my cats into one room so I knew they were safe. Here's the thing about my dog, he's untrained for the most part but was basically a giant lab puppy in his mind. But he growled at strangers, not barked like at animals. We had to keep him outside if we had guests but he never bit anyone and if you spent enough time around him he'd eventually accept you. Also he didn't growl at all strangers either so he wasn't the most reliable guard dog either. But he was big, and deep bark.
I mauled over what to do as I sat there in the dark with my dog, waiting for shadow to pass by the window. I eventually went upstairs to my mom's room and woke her up from her sleeping pill slumber. Groggy and still kinda high she didn't quite grasp what I was telling her till I started crying. She sorta sobered up and asked me to get her some coffee and I did. All while I'm watching my dogs every move because I know he could sense something before I did. As my mom sobered her fear in her eyes grew. Eventually she got the idea to call my neighbors and ask them if they knew the car, after all said no, 2 of the men went out of their house to check the car together.
The car was empty, at closer inspection though, they noticed it was a newer car, lexus, and in the passenger seat was a lap top. The car was locked but with a flashlight you could see somewhat into the tinted windows. They never told us why but something they saw in the car prompted them to call the local sheriff, only one and he lived in town sorta thing. We were too small to have a police department. He drove over about 15 minutes later, ran the plates and asked the houses around about it. Apparently it was a rental car from Ohio, and he was calling to see who was rented to but the offices were closed I think. He stuck around in his car for about an hour till someone came out of the woods and ran back in as the cop turned his spot light on him. I couldn't see what he was pointing at with his light as it was at the side of my house and I was looking at the front. I guess he called for back up as 3 other cop cars showed up in 5 minutes of it from the neighboring town/highway patrol idk. At which a lady cop got out as I asked to speak with her and her call my counselor at school to explain who that might be. I was pretty shy back then but idk something about a female cop made me feel more comfortable to open up to.
I told her the gist of the story, then she called my counselor who backed up my story but also explaining why I was scared of cops cuz my history with foster care and not wanting to go back. At which a mostly sober mom joined me hugging me, doing her typical apologetic routine. But also offering much needed comfort as she called my dad too. Eventually the lady cop asked if she could take a look around the house to see if things were secure and get any information from my laptop about him.
In her search she found something I didn't think about checking, the basement door was not just unlocked but open. It's never unlocked so I didn't even think to check it as our back yard floods in the spring due to beaver dams and it's got extra seals and stuff to prevent the basement from flooding ... Again... But the stuff sealing it which was mostly sand bags and stuff were set aside. But the door at the bottom of the stares was locked still though it had some damage like someone tried picking it. But he had access to half the basement that was storage (basement was sectioned and the other half used to be used for my brothers parties.). The door between the sections was like a front door not an indoor door, as in the summer my dad left the hatch open to dry out the basement and adjust pool settings as it was basically the pool house and the cats loved it so it also had a few cat beds. The section that led upstairs was locked from the inside and the wall and door were not dry wall and cheap door but lock and key heavy door and wall was brick.
Upon noticing this my dad confirmed he had not left it open, my suspicions that black car was his was pretty much confirmed. As we walked through the house to make sure everything was still safe, she got on my lap top as they searched the woods, I gave her everything I had, his photos, username and she even checked to see if his credit card was still on my account but it wasn't. But the last few didgets were. She then asked to take my laptop for a few days as she thought she could get some good evidence from it. I asked her to please not damage it and return it as soon as possible because I used it a lot, before smart phones it was all I had.
After few hours and onlooking neighbors had gone to bed the cops came back empty handed but left a cop outside our house and towed the guys car. From what the lady cop told me, what permitted such fear was in the car there was two guns, some sort of rope and handcuffs. And the guy who ran back into the dense woods was wearing a winter ski mask (not out of season but suspicious none the less).
So eventually I try and lay down and go to sleep but pretty sure I was going to call out sick tomorrow and kept all my cats inside for the day. I was too restless to sleep, every sound made me so scared. My mom slept with the dog in her room (I'm very allergic to animals but less to cats as I kinda built up a tolerance to cats but not dogs) and my cats slept in my room most nights by choice as my room was usually the warmest.
At 3:30 am ish I heard a knock at the back door, and a guy say, undercover police officer, open up. I was still awake as I walked downstairs to make out a guy standing in the dark with a gun. As he saw me he demanded I let him in now as he needed to speak with me. Something felt off, my gut knew it before I did that this guy's voice seemed forced. Like someone purposely making their voice deeper. And why was he at the back door?
So I turned on a light outside and sure enough, it was him. I just screamed as quickly as I screamed he started hitting the door hard. Wasn't a very loud horror movie scream but more like a gasp scream. I don't think the fear in my body had a loud scream to let out. But the banging was pretty loud as I ran to the front to see if the officer was still outside. He was but he wasn't getting out of his car. I didn't wanna run outside as I'm not a fast runner so I turned the porch lights on and off couple times but still nothing. After a minute my dog came bolting down to the door barking and growling nearly foaming at the mouth. Soon followed my mom who yelled she had a gun, she didn't but bluff is bluff. Somehow during all this the cop outside had snuck around back and had his gun pointed at him yelling to put his gun down.
I hid as the rest went down but he was arrested, no trial needed me to attend and my statement was enough. Come to find out he wasn't even American, the car was rented under his friends name, and after all was done he was deported back to Canada. I assume something with his passport would prevent him from coming back to the USA as the cop reassured me he couldn't come back to the USA now. Idk what exactly he was charged with but I think my dad said activated assault with a deadly weapon, attempted kidnapping and something else. And it also it turned out he was 32 years old not 19 so I assume me being a me being a minor carried a charge.
And life moved on from there. I had plenty of creeps before and after but he was by the worst from WoW. I had a couple from streaming but I was an adult and much better a staying safe online. Only one worse than this guy was my ex boyfriends cousin who made my life hell for couple years but that's another story for another time.
submitted by catreligion to LetsNotMeet

I am 23 years old, make $46,000, live in Washington, DC and work as an Admissions Officer.

There’s a lot of privilege baked into what I lay out in this Money Diary through my education and upbringing. I still feel like a novice concerning personal finance but I know I am doing (probably more than) alright. The biggest thing that money does for me is give me peace of mind, and I am very grateful for that.
Section One: Assets and Debt
  • Retirement balance: $1,157 in TIAA 403(b), $2,726 in Vanguard 403(b), and $6,090 in my Roth IRA
I started full-time employment in November 2019, so this represents about a year of savings. The Roth IRA was funded in one go when I started getting serious about knowing where my money is and what it’s doing this summer. I have two 403(b)s because I switched brokerages from TIAA to Vanguard; I can’t combine them until I leave this position. My initial contribution was a flat 3%, then I bumped it up to 6%, and more recently, I’ve been contributing $1200 a paycheck, which I will continue through the end of the year, when I’ll readjust down to $800 or so. Our match was paused this summer before I was eligible for it, and it remains paused until Summer 2021.

  • Brokerage account: $11,243
I have a taxable brokerage account separate from my retirement accounts where I am saving for a down payment on a house. I seeded it with $3k of my own savings and transferred all the assets from a matured UTMA account from my great-uncle (which was being actively managed by my parents’ financial planner until I took control of it this summer). The UTMA was part of how I paid for college, and the remaining $7,000 or so has been rolled into this account. I went back and forth between a HYSA and brokerage for this pot of money, and ultimately decided to keep the money invested in a Target Date Fund (2025) because I don’t plan to purchase a house for another ten years or so (the utility of this is the Target Date Fund automatically creates a glide path of investment allocation). I am still working on selling off the funds the financial planner had me invested in as they mature to a year cost-basis to reinvest in the Target Date Fund.

  • Savings account balance: $4,275 in my general savings account, $5,998 in a separate account holding for my 2021 Roth IRA, and $6,021 in an HYSA
I have a catch-all savings account, a temporary savings account for my 2021 Roth IRA (I know I ought to just invest it now, but this is a psychological choice for me, down to leaving a buffer for the interest it’ll earn before I invest it), and then a HYSA for my emergency fund and savings for a car (maybe? I’ve been courting the idea of my next job being at a university that is not in a city with great public transit, so this is contingent on that, I don’t really want the responsibility of a car). Because I am shoveling money into my retirement accounts right now, I’m not making contributions to my HYSA, but they will pick up again in January.

  • Checking account balance: $1,249
I used to keep my checking account at $1k plus my rent, and then siphon off money to my catch-all savings account whenever I got paid. But since I’ve been tracking my money a little better, I move my monthly budget of $1300 into my checking account at the beginning of the month, and then all paychecks immediately get transferred to my catch-all savings.

  • Health Savings Account: $686
My health insurance plan makes me eligible for an HSA and I get up to a $750 match every year as a single contributor. Right now I deposit $31.25 each paycheck and my employer matches the entire amount. I’ve already used some of the funds I saved earlier this year.

  • Credit card debt: -$83
I pay this off every month and always have. This represents the groceries I bought in this diary, groceries two weeks ago, and ordering dinner for my boyfriend and myself earlier in the month.

  • Paypal: $0
This is almost always at a zero balance. I use it to accept rewards from the occasional survey, pay for certain things online, and settle up utility and rent payments with my roommates. It is connected to my credit card and my checking account.

  • Student loan debt: $0
I graduated with a BA in Education Studies and Cognitive Science in May 2019. While I graduated with loans totalling about $16,000, I had the savings on hand to pay them off because I basically didn’t spend money in college and worked every semester but one, plus every summer. I waited until I had secured full-time employment before paying it off before they left deferment; the loans were federal with two different servicers.
Besides loans, I received need-based aid from my school, I applied for and won outside scholarships, withdrew funds from my UTMA account, and my parents paid some out-of-pocket as well.
~~~~~~~~~~
Was there an expectation that you would pursue higher education? Yes, I am a third-generation college graduate (both my parents, and all of my grandparents, attended college, and some of them have professional and graduate degrees). I always assumed I would go to a state school to save on college costs, but my parents gave me the go-ahead to look beyond that because they understood I would earn scholarships and our family would be eligible for aid. I ended up at an Ivy League school, which I never thought was in my future before my senior year of high school.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parents educate you about finances? We had sporadic conversations that were decidedly educational - I remember my parents getting my siblings and me lockboxes and ledger books instead of piggy banks, taking us to the credit union to open accounts, and hearing kernels of advice. Mostly, I learned by following their habits - how to shop for groceries, how to shop for clothes, how to choose a place to rent, etc. Up until recently, my parents’ financial advisor was also my advisor, and I checked in with him when I had something big going on, like paying for college and choosing benefits at my first professional job.
What was your first job and why did you get it? My first W-2 job was as an RA in college. We were paid with a stipend, but room and board were not covered. I got it because my mom had been an RA in college, and I thought I would be a natural at it being the eldest child of six. Prior to that, I babysat, participated in research studies, and flipped furniture and textbooks, but in high school my parents didn’t want me to have a job so I could focus on school.
Did you worry about money growing up? I understood that money needed to be conserved from my parents’ habits, but I didn’t worry about my personal money or our family’s financial situation. I have been a saver since I was a kid, so it never really occurred to me to spend my birthday money, for instance. In retrospect, I can point to particular times of financial anxiety from my parents (when selling a house, during the Great Recession, when I had to eat school lunch since it was free), but I wasn’t paying so close attention at the time.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net? I was 22 when I finally moved out of my parents’ house for my first full-time position, after graduating from college, working a seasonal job for the summer, and then moving back home. That was the age when I first started paying rent and bills. As far as a safety net, I have an emergency fund and my investments; I also have my nuclear family, a large extended family who I could crash with, some friends in various cities, and untapped education benefits from the government.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? All the passive income from my investments is getting reinvested - it doesn’t amount to much right now. I inherited the money in my old UTMA account mentioned before. My parents each have a will, but I’ve not been told any specifics. All my grandparents are still alive and I don’t know the status of their estates. Because I have many siblings and cousins, and I am “on my feet” compared to them by virtue of being older, I have low expectations of any future inheritance, and I anticipate some of it will be messier than it is worth.
Section Two: Income
Income Progression: I've been working in my field for 1 year next month. My starting salary was $46,000 and we did not get a COL raise this year due to the pandemic. Although the job was listed with a salary and I have full benefits, I am actually paid hourly, so if I work after-hours, I get paid overtime.
In college, I worked six semesters as an RA (paid on a stipend), one semester as a college prep tutor manager for a non-profit (also a stipend), one summer as a summer camp counselor (paid hourly, but they rationed who could take overtime), and 3 summers as an RA for a pre-college program (paid hourly with generous overtime, also got room and board). Since these were all paid jobs, I consider them relevant work experience for my career in higher education.
Main Job Monthly Take Home: $648
As you can see in the table below, I am currently contributing a high pre-tax amount toward retirement. When I assessed my financial situation earlier this year, I decided I was too cash-heavy and wanted to be more invested, so I increased my contribution and it automatically invests with my paycheck. This is temporary, since I supplement my income with my savings to support my expenses right now, and will end after December. I took these numbers from my paystub and multiplied, so they may not quite add up.
Amount
Gross pay $3,537.60
HSA contribution -$62.50
Health insurance -$27.20
Voluntary contribution -$2,400
Taxes -$386.80
Long term disability -$12.46
Net pay $648.62

Side Gig Monthly Take Home: $0
I’ve been looking into reading applications as a part-time job at another school, but haven’t bit the bullet on that one yet. I got $10 from filling out a survey last month, but that’s it for money outside of my job.
Other Monthly Income: $0
Most of the financial out-patient care I received from my parents has pretty much ended. They used to pitch in for the gap between my scholarships and tuition in college, and they would pay for my air travel to and from college, but now I pay for my own travel. The only thing that remains is that I am on their phone plan and use their Netflix and Disney+. We recently had a conversation about this, and I’ll be paying them $20 a month for all this going forward (I know that my line only costs $10, so I’m not getting a parental discount).
Section Three: Expenses
Rent: $875/month - I have the smallest room in my apartment, which is a 3 bed, 1 bath I share with two other women. When I went into the office, I was able to walk to work.
Renters insurance: $140.60/year - Through USAA. I paid through December 2021 and will end this policy then, since I’ll be covered under my parents’ policy when I move home (we checked, I was prepared to continue this coverage).
Car insurance: $19.57/month - Through USAA. This is a non-owners policy, since I don’t have a car but wanted to maintain coverage.
Electric: varies from $25 to $50 a month - I pay one of my roommates for my portion.
Wifi: $28/month - I pay one of my roommates for my portion.
Cellphone plus Subscriptions (Netflix and Disney+): $20/month - Paid to my parents.
Groceries: $100-$150/month - I prefer to shop at Aldi, but with the pandemic, I sometimes do my weekly shop at the Giant that is much closer. This includes hygiene and cleaning products.
Eating out: $60-$80/month - I don’t much like eating out at restaurants. Right now this is basically a take-out budget; if I wasn’t dating, this would be more like $30/month, but I like the opportunity to try new food/have something to look forward to/be lazy with my boyfriend.
Clothing, misc.: I might thrift clothes or buy undergarments or shoes new once a month, if that. I don’t keep a hard budget for this type of category, but I have a mental ceiling of $1300 for all outgoing cash flow each month. I haven’t gone over (except for paying off my loans from savings) since moving out on my own. Although the accounting is a little wonky right now, this method allowed for an average savings rate just under 50% of my take-home pay before I messed around with my retirement contributions. It will be neat to figure out my overall savings rate at the end of the year, and I project it to be 60%.
~~~~~~~~~~
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for ten months and we’re pretty easy-going about money between us. We’re both pretty frugal and don’t normally split bills; he’ll pay for one thing, I’ll pay for the next. If there’s something one of us wants to do and bring the other along, the originator of the idea will cover the cost. Early on I asked if he wanted me to keep a spreadsheet or use an app to split costs, but our method hasn’t caused any problems.
I did live with him (he lives alone) for about five months from the beginning of the pandemic - during that time I still had to pay rent and utilities at my apartment, so my financial contribution at his place was getting groceries for us both every other week (where he would go on the alternating weeks). Since moving out, I see him for dinner on Wednesdays and then the weekends; I’ll cook or order in on Wednesdays, and always try to contribute to the weekend by baking or bringing takeout with me.

Day 1, Thursday, October 8, 2020

7:29am: I’m up a minute before my alarm like the cosmos has something to tell me. My arms are sore from carrying bags of clothing from a women’s clothing round-robin I picked up two days ago. Back to sleep.
8:19am: And we’re awake again. My ‘alarm’ is two hours of NPR so I hear snippets of the VP debate last night. I raise the blinds to my window (I’ve been trying to look outside before I look at a screen lately). Grab my phone and browse reddit, text my boyfriend good morning.
9:06am: Whoops, better make breakfast before starting work. Two slices of sprouted bread in the toaster oven, topped with peanut butter and strawberry jam, alongside two mandarin oranges and my multivitamin. That was the last of my bread, so I update my pantry spreadsheet.
9:15am: Open my work email, nothing pressing for now. No meetings on my schedule either. I open up our application portal and start reading applications - it takes me about half an hour to check today’s batch for completeness.
10:03am: Break to read some news and check my local Buy-Nothing group (where the round-robin originated). See an article about mail-in ballot tracking which reminds me to check on mine, which I mailed on Sunday. It arrived yesterday, and I text my family group chat to celebrate. I can hear my roommates are both awake watching some sort of Halloween baking show.
10:46am: Return to working. Reading more applications, then email. First I address anything brand new, then I systematically attack my 75 email backlog by searching for certain keywords and senders that are more urgent.
11:07am: Take my dishes to the kitchen and refill my water glass.
11:32am: I switch gears with emails. My admissions pet peeve: when applicants misspell my name.
12:02pm: We’re at 63 emails now. I get dressed and make my bed.
12:22pm: Lunch is ravioli with marinara sauce and white beans, carrot sticks, and a slice of fresh mozzarella cut into slices. Work has an optional lunch on Zoom on Thursdays - I log in and no one is there so I end up calling one of my sisters instead.
1:00pm: Still talking with my sister but my on-call shift for work has begun (prospective students can call our office with questions), so I log in in the background.
1:53pm: Wow, we really had a lot to catch up on. School for her, work for me. Back to work.
3:00pm: And my phone shift is over - no calls today. It seems that people have generally forgotten about calling during the several months we didn’t have an active phone line when we started teleworking. I’ve been redditting and doing work brainstorming through this all.
3:27pm: Back to applications. Typically I only do them once a day, but I like the structured checking-off, so I tackle the few that are in my box. What can I say, I love giving the stamp of a complete application so it can go on to further review (I don’t provide an opinion for the admissions decision) - maybe we’ll admit them... it all starts here!
4:43pm: Stumbled upon an application from someone I know - always a nice surprise.
5:24pm: Glance at the clock since my working has transitioned to not really working. Down to 56 emails. I go down a rabbit-hole researching one of today’s recommenders - sometimes they are really interesting people!
5:48pm: Heat up dinner - roasted turkey breast and brussels sprouts I have in the fridge. I compare dinners with my boyfriend over text and settle into some dinner YouTube and two more mandarin oranges.
7:09pm: I’m cooing over the panda update at the National Zoo and decide to bake some biscuits. Went a little overboard on my normal Greek yogurt plus Bisquick recipe, adding some vanilla oat milk and pumpkin pie spice for a dessert feel. They are fragrant and tender.
7:32pm: I clean up the kitchen and start the dishwasher.
9:38pm: I run a small bath and use my double-edge safety razor for the first time on my legs. Only three nicks, none of them major, so I feel pretty accomplished.
10:28pm: Chit-chat with my roommates after unloading the dishwasher.
12:15pm: Get ready for bed. I don’t fall asleep until later but my sleep habits are a topic for another time.

Day 2, Friday, October 9, 2020

8:09am: Wake up, open the blinds, and check the weather. Pulled my bed together, turned off the radio, and stuck my finger in my pilea plant. In the kitchen, I pop the last of a berry cobbler in the microwave for breakfast and fill a dish with water to place the pilea in.
8:27am: I open up my work email to see what’s new. Inbox at 64. Most of the emails are applicants wanting to know the status of their application and prospective students wanting to schedule appointments, which I decline.
9:02: I pull the pilea out of the water. Emails are down to 57. Take my breakfast dish and the excess water to the kitchen.
9:05am: Time to file applications. I turn on Spotify for some background noise.
9:42am: Done, so I check in on reddit, then get dressed and get back to work.
11:04am: Pause working to start some pizza dough for calzones to take hiking this weekend. I get distracted by a text from one of my roommates that she doesn’t feel well. She explains the precautions she’s taking. At least kneading is therapeutic.
Noonish: Catching up on personal email as the dough rises.
1:30ish: Calzones are now doing their second rise assembled. Lunch is spaetzle with roasted turkey, white beans, mozzarella, and marinara sauce.
2pm: I message the next person in my clothing round robin since I’ve made my choices of what to keep and what to give away. She can pick up tonight so I tidy the bags. Calzones go in the oven.
2:30pm: Calzones out of the oven to cool.
3:03pm: Remember it’s payday; move my whole paycheck into savings ($373.68, a little higher than normal because I worked overtime last week).
4pm: I have some raisins as a snack, filling a dish with water for my succulent to soak in. I start typing up my Money Diary and enter my hours for work.
4:40pm: I move the clothes down to the curb and keep watch over them, since I’ve had items I’ve set out for people taken before. It’s an easy misunderstanding, so I don’t get mad about it, but it’s disappointing for the person who the items are intended for, so now I watch. She arrives and I help her load her car. Thank goodness that is done; it really was a ton of clothes.
5:02pm: The calzones have cooled so I pack them into the bread bag from the loaf I finished yesterday. I sit back down to close my tabs from the day on my computer. Email is at 58. Time to pack for the weekend!
5:29pm: I write up a cutesy to-do list for the weekend of activities for the weekend. It includes catching up on shows we watch together and things to do on our hike.
6:05pm: I leave my apartment and hop on the metro (my card is still loaded from February, this is only my second time on the metro since then). My boyfriend has me meet him by a Chinese restaurant, where he picks up our order. He pays; the bill is $21.18.
7pm: We walk back to his place. Wash our hands, eat dinner on the couch. We catch up on our days and he puts a CD in the stereo.
9:30pm: We snuggle up with a blanket to watch this week’s Great British Bake Off. In the middle we snack on some challah and lox.
10:30pm: By the end of the episode, I’m practically nodding off, so we head to bed.

Day 3, Saturday, October 10, 2020

7:18am: I wake up and quietly slip out of bed. Get a drink of water and plug in my phone since I neglected that last night. Crawl back into bed since it is too early for a weekend.
8:50am: We’re both awake now, so we muster ourselves out of bed. He makes coffee for himself and then brings it and some more challah and lox to the couch for breakfast.
10:40am or so: We’re dressed, bags packed, water bottles filled, and out the door.
11:30am or so: Car is parked. The drive only took about 35 minutes but the first parking area was full, so it was slow-going to find the other parking area. We hike in bursts on the trail, stopping to spy on birds with binoculars, split a calzone, munch on carrot sticks, or climb down to the river bank to sit and enjoy the outdoors. The ‘destination’ of this hike is a waterfall area, but it is more crowded than the trail so we don’t linger for very long.
4:30pm: Back at the car to drive home.
5:20pm: Home! We change clothes and settle in on the couch.
5:40pm: One of my favorite series in sheltering at home, Secrets of the Zoo, has delivered a new spinoff at the Taronga Zoo in Australia. We’ve watched all the original seasons already, so we dig into this new one together.
6:15pm: My boyfriend makes dinner - pasta with pesto and ricotta cheese.
7:15pm: Switching gears to set up the projector so we can watch Botched on the big screen. We’re finishing up the most recent season. Ice cream ensues.
11:20pm: Finishing an episode just in time to catch SNL. Sometimes we don’t stay up late enough, but tonight we triumph!
1:15am: SNL is over, we’ve brushed our teeth, and we crawl into bed.

Day 4, Sunday, October 11, 2020

9:50am: We’ve both been awake on-and-off, and so concur that it is time to start the day.
10:15am: I turn on more of Secrets of the Zoo on the projector. My boyfriend brings over challah and lox to munch on, and I check off items from our weekend list.
11:40am: Two episodes later, and it’s about time for me to pack up and leave. I get dressed and gather my belongings, and we say goodbye until Wednesday.
12:28pm: I arrive home from my walk, wash up, rotate my pilea plant, and catch up writing Money Diary entries, news from the weekend, and some miscellaneous reddit.
2pm: Pour out some applesauce and sit down to write out my meal plan and grocery list and eyeball the cost of my list. Planning to spend about $30 for my groceries for the week.
2:50pm: Copy my list on paper from my pantry spreadsheet. Check the weather and suit up for rain, pack my backpack, and we’re off to the grocery store!
4:04pm: I arrive at Aldi. It drizzled the whole walk here, but I like the chance to stretch my legs. Bonus from the rain: Very few people are out walking.
4:35pm: Done shopping; I could spend forever at Aldi. I get in line to check out. As I’m waiting, I do mental math and guess I spent $28 for a dozen eggs, a bulk container of whole milk plain greek yogurt, baby bella mushrooms, a dark chocolate bar, a loaf of sprouted bread, a large can of crushed tomatoes, a bag of gala apples, two acorn squash, about 2.5 lbs of red grapes, a package of salted butter, pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, and two packages of fresh pumpkin ravioli. The final bill is $27.77, so I was a great estimator today!
4:48pm: I depart Aldi and walk back home. The last ten minutes of my walk, the rain starts to pick up.
5:45pm: Made it home, a little damp. I wash up and put away the food. I pull out two pumpkin cookies and smear some peanut butter on them for a snack.
5:55pm: I sit down to read over some supplemental essays for college applications for one of my sisters. Normally I leave comments or edit as I go, but I think she’s hit the right voice today so I just text her that I don’t have any edits.
7pm: Head to the kitchen to roast the acorn squash for this week’s lunches and make dinner for tonight - eggs on top of toast, with olives and pickled onions, alongside some grapes, and a small turkey and mozzarella quesadilla.
8pm: I put my dinner dishes away and pull the squash out of the oven. I settle in to internet browsing and a few squares of dark chocolate for the evening, realizing and then coming to peace with the fact that I am now a Money Diaries cliche.
10:55pm: Showering, getting into pajamas, and tidying up my room. The cooled acorn squash goes into the fridge.
Midnight or so: in bed after some YouTube and writing the intro to this Money Diary.
Total Spend: $27.77

Day 5, Monday, October 12, 2020

7:35am: I wake up to the radio and open the window. It is grey outside and looks like it’ll be cloudy and rainy all day. I get out of bed, straighten the duvet and pillows, and head to the bathroom. Back in my room, I read the news, check reddit, and text my boyfriend good morning.
8:25am: Check my work email. We’re back up to 62. I knock out the easy ones that came in over the weekend (down to 59) and then go make breakfast (two fried eggs with baby bella mushrooms on toast topped with pickled onions and everything bagel seasoning, red grapes, my multivitamin and water).
8:55am: Sit down on the couch in the living room to start the work day by reading applications. Mondays typically have a larger stack to work through because people work on and submit applications more frequently on the weekends. I turn on Spotify tuned to my Daily Drive with news and music very quietly, since I haven’t seen either of my roommates yet this morning.
10am: I head back to my desk in my room so I can log in for a phone shift. Still reading applications.
12:05pm: Realize my phone shift is over, so I log out of that system. I answered one call early on and it was radio silence from there. I am still reading applications, but the end is in sight.
12:30pm: Done reading applications. Time to prepare lunch. I reheat half an acorn squash on the broil function of the toaster oven, and microwave some white beans and tomato sauce I had in the fridge, and top it all with feta cheese. To be honest, I had wanted to get spaghetti squash at the grocery yesterday, but this is so good with acorn squash as the centerpiece.
1:28pm: I sit down with some chocolate and see what is up next for the work day. Blessedly, there are no new emails, so I reference a to-do list I have on a scrap of paper from last week. I decide to rewrite the list with steps broken down before attacking it.
3pm: I break for a pumpkin cookie with peanut butter and to refill my water.
5:15pm: I log out of work and fiddle around with pizza dough recipes before heading to the kitchen to straighten up and make the dough.
5:45pm: Leave the dough to rise in the kitchen. One of my roommates is heating up a frozen lasagna in the oven, so my dough should be happy. I caramelize some onions and throw some sliced mushrooms in with them to top the pizza with when the dough is ready.
7:15pm: I can’t wait any longer, so I deflate the dough and split it into two. I shape and top one pizza and place the other half in the fridge for tomorrow’s dinner. Pizza in the oven.
7:40pm: Dinner, followed by dinner YouTube (mostly vintage SNL), followed by a pumpkin cookie and a wandering path to bed, eventually.

Day 6, Tuesday, October 13, 2020

8am: I’m awake, peek outside, and then snuggle back into bed with my phone.
8:30am: Out of bed to make breakfast - two slices of sprouted toast, two scrambled eggs with some of the caramelized onions and mushrooms from last night and mozzarella stirred in, applesauce, and my multivitamin.
8:50am: I sit down at my desk to start the workday. Email is at 61, but I anticipate I’ll get a bunch forwarded to me within the hour. I start reading applications.
9:45am: Quick break to put away dishes and then back to applications.
10:30am: End is in sight with my applications, but I have to pause for our weekly staff meeting. These used to take a whole hour, but now we can get them down to a neat 20-30 minutes. People share anything relevant to the whole office, and oftentimes share something personal like what they did over the weekend, how their pet/child/plant is doing, or show a show-and-tell item.
1pm: I got a bit distracted after the end of the meeting, but I sit down to lunch (same as yesterday, acorn squash with marinara sauce, white beans, and feta, and an apple) and try to get some things done.
4pm: With all of our recruiting being done virtually, I get to attend and answer questions during info sessions and webinars that my office hosts. Today I’ve been tapped to support one of our Directors, answering questions in that Zoom chat while she coordinates the live interaction. I’m still on camera and end up answering questions with her too, and am exhausted after the whole ordeal.
5:25pm: I call it quits with work. We’re up over 70 emails again.
6:45pm: One of my roommates texts that she’s thinking she might travel for a funeral this weekend. I honestly don’t have the tools in my toolbox to handle this right now, and so I don’t. Dinner is pizza like yesterday, with the dough I left in the fridge. It’s a better-developed crust and I’m very pleased with it. I munched on an apple while it was baking.
10:15pm: I bake some brownies and pour sprinkles on top. They’re done in about 45 minutes and I slice them to cool, then enjoy two.
2am or so: I get anxious about work, so I answer some emails and set them to send in the morning. Down to 63. Then off to bed.

Day 7, Wednesday, October 14, 2020

I neglected to log this day as it happened since it ended up being a mental health day for me. I was up and about in the morning, finished applications, and then felt ill enough to call out of work. Luckily I was able to coordinate with my supervisor, so I was able to break, nap, and take care of myself. I also picked up a new office chair from my Buy Nothing group in the evening, and had my boyfriend over for dinner on the balcony. Breakfast was oatmeal that I made in the instant pot with peanut butter, raisins, and honey. Lunch was eggs with caramelized onions and mushrooms and mozzarella cheese on sprouted toast with grapes. And dinner was pumpkin ravioli in a butter garlic sauce with kale, and focaccia that I made.
Total Expenses:
Food + Drink: $27.77
Fun / Entertainment: $0
Home + Health: $0
Clothes + Beauty: $0
Transport: $0
Other: $0
Lastly, reflect on your diary!
This was a pretty normal week for me. I always get groceries once a week, and we’re solidly in the middle of the month, so I didn’t have rent or utilities to pay. As reflected in my expenses section, I don’t have too many wants and try to limit my financial obligations. This diary does showcase my participation in my Buy Nothing group, and I have gifted items in the past and will do so again before I move.
In the future, I know I will need to build out a more robust budget to allow for things I like to do that are generally on pause now, like seeing plays and musicals, going to aquariums and zoos, and traveling to see friends and family. The habits I have now will enable me to enjoy those activities in the future without worrying about the cost. I’m currently working on projecting my larger future expenses, like new contacts and glasses, some professional certifications, moving, and even grander some-days like going to graduate school, self-funding maternity leave, and financially incentivising retirement saving for my siblings.
submitted by libbyation to MoneyDiariesACTIVE

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